with the first raindrops
the swallows’ flight
Comment: A haiku with an unmarked juxtaposition and a sense of continuity given by the ‘wavy movement’ in line 1 and the ‘swallows’ flight’ in the last verse, transversely cut by the first rain of the season, which represents its origin. A poem with a soft (yawaraki 軟らかい) and wide (futoi 太い) opening that gradually shrinks and gets thinner (hosomi 細身) but only to expand again at the very end, as if the poem itself was a living entity. A convincing example of tanbi 耽美 (‘aesthetic immersion’) and poetic detail. The overall sense of movement is also given by the alliteration of both ‘w’ and ‘v’ sounds throughout the entire poem, with a partial break in line 2.